By Dr Omobolaji Oyebanjo-Popoola, ABPN, ABPM FASAM
One of the most traumatizing experiences that one can ever go through is immigration, especially from a country in the developing, to one in the developed world. Imagine leaving your entire social identity, comprising friends, family, culture, food and familiar places behind to go to a new place, where you have to reintroduce yourself to new neighbors and colleagues, struggle to assimilate, strive to upgrade or update your education, as your previous qualifications might mean nothing till you “validate” them by taking a few courses or even an exam.
Many new immigrants struggle financially on arrival and have to live below the standards they had been used to in their countries of origin. Some have to hide in the shadows till they “regularize” their papers, while many of those succumb to the treachery of betrayal by some of their own, leading to deportation. All of this can take a toll on immigrant marriages and raising children, as things permitted in your home country may send social services operatives knocking on your door and you might find yourself in some real difficulty.
Many women who move to a developed country, from a less-developed origin, experience a new found freedom even though they struggle with child care, while many men suffer from the loss of control or power they enjoyed in their countries of origin. Children struggle in school to make friends and adhere to set boundaries. Indeed, all of these experiences can take a toll on one’s physical and mental health that it is well worth discussing it in some depth, with a view to shedding some light on the problems and identifying some mechanisms by which readers in similar circumstances can navigate their way through the intricacies of these new experiences.
Having lived in two different countries on two separate continents apart from my African homeland, I can confidently say that I am not a stranger to the culture shock of the immigrant experience. The isolation can be oppressive and the impact on one’s social identity, quite troubling. I recall our neighbor when I first moved to join my husband in a New York, years after graduation from medical school, who noticed I was always at home and questioned if I was indeed a physician. Unknown to her, I needed to take a series of board exams over a period of 2 years to be allowed to practice as a doctor in America.
She worked as a nurse in the hospital and would frequently ask me for my resume, so she could give it to her doctor friend to assist me to get a job. My reluctance to tender my resume to her made her feel I was perhaps being economical with the truth and my reticence in explaining to her that the process that foreign doctors had to go through, was different from that of their locally trained contemporaries, didn’t help. Eventually I learnt not to tell anyone that I was a doctor (even though I had qualified and worked in Nigeria, as well as in England), till I eventually passed my American exams.
In order to survive in the new environment, many new immigrants take on menial jobs, some of which might be unthinkable when in their home countries. Everyone has a story to tell and some might ask if the sacrifice and hardship is ultimately worth it? I would answer such a question with a resounding yes, provided you learn to assimilate, pay your dues and still maintain your ties to the motherland.
Culture shock is the emotional feeling that takes you over after relocating or being exposed to a foreign or new culture that is distinctly different from that to which you had hitherto been exposed. The feeling elicits responses such as anger, anxiety, depression, shame, fear or confusion. This typically occurs when introduced to an unfamiliar culture, traditions and norms when living in a foreign country or society. People experiencing culture shock go through distinct phases of euphoria (honeymoon), discomfort, adjustment, and acceptance.
These phases differ in intensity and length depending on the individual support system or lack thereof, whether they travelled abroad on a pre-arranged engagement, such as for education or professional assignation, the length of exposure and the support system they are able to avail themselves of. It can happen suddenly, or it can creep up gradually, experienced in simple things like communication, or more seriously, as not being able to purchase medication without a prescription from a qualified medical professional, as obtains in many developing countries. In most developed countries you need a prescription for most medications. The symptoms of culture shock are often missed as most people do not know what to look for.
Age is also an important factor; the younger the person, the easier they assimilate, conversely the older they are the more difficult they might find it to do so. The former would not have had enough time to fully imbibe their original culture and would thus retain a certain openness to new things, whilst the latter, having matured in their original culture, might find it more difficult to unlearn the old and learn the new. This is the reason why it might not be a good idea for immigrants to attempt to resettle elderly grandparents in their new countries, as the incidence of the many illnesses that have been discussed, tend to be higher in this population of immigrant and can often lead to early deaths.
People experience various symptoms such as: –
Fear and anxiety
Homesickness
Depression or melancholy
Isolation and withdrawal
Disturbance in sleep or loss of appetite
Irritability and anger
Sensitivity to comments on culture and stereotyping
Excessive drinking
Domestic violence
Shame or low self esteem
Poor focus and easy distractibility
Hopelessness or helplessness
Feeling of not being understood
Regret
Stages of culture shock
Honeymoon Stage
In the Honeymoon Stage, the first stage of culture shock, one is excited about arriving in a new culture and is enthused about the new possibilities as well as prospects for advancement that were lacking in one’s place of origin. The stage typically lasts for several weeks or even months.
Negotiation Stage
As one gets over the excitement of new possibilities, the novelty wears off around the three months period, and anger and frustration start to creep in, as one begins to miss home, family and friends, as well as all the attendant familiarities such as, culture, food and traditions that now seem all so far away from daily reality.
Adjustment Stage
About a year into the relocation, one starts to learn survival skills such as language proficiency, transportation, obtaining a driving license, perhaps join a church, mosque or other house of worship and develop a plan on how to assimilate further into the new culture. You discover shops that sell foods similar to those from back home and life gradually begins to get better as you settle into a routine. You may still experience some difficulties at this stage but you are now able to deal with them better, as you have acquired some of the rules of the road from observation.
Adaptation Stage
Finally, you get to the adaptation stage, sometimes referred to as the bicultural stage, when you adapt to both cultures. You successfully embrace your new culture and you no longer feel lonely and isolated as you have made new friends.
Re-entry Shock
It is also important to note there can be a fifth stage of this process, re-entry or reverse culture shock, whenever you happen to return home after living abroad for an extended period. You may no longer be able to see eye to eye with your family, friends and even your country of origin might have changed, the youths may have changed in their outlook and if care is nor taken you might end up ostracizing people by passing tone-deaf comments amongst your classmates and friends and causing offence. This is when you express strong opinions on how the country you left behind should be run and became opinionated, thus rubbing many the wrong way
Finally, here are few tips to help you navigate the cultural and emotional minefield of relocating to another country: –
Be realistic about your expectations before relocating.
Learn as much as you can about the new country before you travel there.
Choose positive, achieving and encouraging friends, who have settled in, as opposed to those who are still trying to find their feet.
Learn the rules so that you can avoid breaking the them.
Find out where there are associations or places of worship to meet people from your culture.
If you are married, accept that your marriage will change and be on guard against it changing for the worse.
Also, watch out for your children, the rules of parenting will differ from anything you are used to
Get help whenever you are finding it difficult to cope.
Stay in touch with your people but be careful and sensitive to their plight, respect their way of life.
Embrace resources for immigrants, as some cities have availability of these to help you settle.
Have in your contemplation that all the foregoing, relate to immigrants who migrated willingly. In part II of this series, I will be discussing the even more harrowing prospects of those who had no choice in their relocation through slavery!
Enjoy your new life!
